DEMENTIA?
Hi Lily ... It is a
long time since we last met ... I just wanted to wish you happy
Easter,
and I hope that you entered 1987 just fine ... All
the other here at the Alzheimer´s
home send their best
regards ... I sure want to go home at the soonest ... I am well
now ...
Best greetings from aunt William.
WARNING
- Stay away from
undertakers.
- They just want your body.
In the emergency room
- Go and ask the patient about his name so
we can inform his family.
- I just did that, but he said that his
family already know his name.
A LAWYER JOKE
- So you deny having named the lawyer an idiot?
- Absolutely
- But he has two witnesses to it..
- Well, he must be an idiot, I think.
a journalist joke
- What is the difference between a camel and a journalist?
- A camel can work for 30 days without drinking.
I
skolen
The teacher - Well children, don´t forget to watch the eclipse of
the sun on Saturday.
Little John - On which channel?
3
WORKMEN
A bricklayer, a carpenter, and an electrician are in a bar bragging.
Well, the bricklayer profession is the oldest, said the
bricklayer, because we built the Tower of Babel.
No, said the
carpenter, our profession is the oldest, because we built Noah´s
Ark.
Well, said the electrician, on creation day God said, let
there be light, and at that time we already had put cables.
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The lonely brain cell
Once upon a time there was a female brain cell which, by mistake,
happened to end
up in a man's head.
She
looked around nervously because it was all empty and quiet.
"
Hello?" she cried, but no
answer.
"Is there anyone here?" she cried a little louder, but still no
answer.
Now, the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and
yelled at the top
of her voice,
"HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE?"
Then she heard a faint voice from far, far away..............
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Love at
last
George, age 92 and Edith,
age 89 are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll
to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. George suggests
they go in and he addresses the man behind the counter. "Are you the owner? "The
pharmacist answers, "Yes". We're about to get married. Do you sell heart
medication?" "Of course we do.""How about support hose for circulation?" "Definitely.""What
about medicine for rheumatism, osteoporosis and arthritis?" "All kinds.""How
about waterproof furniture pads and Depends?" "Yes, sir." "Hearing aide, denture
supplies, sleeping pills, Geritol and Ensure?" "Absolutely.""You sell
wheelchairs, walkers and canes?" "All kinds and sizes.
Why all the questions?" George smiles and replies to the pharmacist, "we'd
like to use your store for our Bridal Registry." |
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Check this
dog poem
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What do
dentists call their x-rays?
Tooth
Pics.
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What
did the mother buffalo say to her son before she left?
Bison.
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What
nails do carpenters hate to hit?
Fingernails!
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What is
at the end of everything?
The
letter g.
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What do
you call a computer superhero?
A
screen saver.
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How do
you spell mousetrap with three letters?
C- A- T
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| A blonde and
brunette were watching the 6 o'clock news. The news was about a man
about ready to jump off a bridge. The brunette turns to the blonde
and says, " I bet you $50 the man is going to jump." The blonde
replies, "Okay you're on." Sure enough, the man jumps, and the
blonde gives the brunette $50. The brunette says, "I can't accept
this money. I watched the 5 o'clock news and saw the man jump then."
"No, you have to take it," says the blonde. "I watched the 5 o'clock
news too, but I didn't think he would do it again." |
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joke about Computer Geeks |
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Where did the
white man go wrong?
An old Indian chief sat in his hut on the
reservation, smoking a ceremonial pipe and
eyeing two US government officials sent to
interview him.
"Chief Two Eagles," asked one official, "You
have observed the white man for 90 years.
You've seen his wars and his material wealth.
You've seen his progress, and the damage
he's done."
The chief nodded that it was so.
The official continued, "Considering all
these events, in your opinion, where did the
white man go wrong?"
The chief stared at the government officials
for over a minute and then calmly replied, "When
white man found the land, Indians were
running it. No taxes, no debt, plenty
buffalo, plenty beaver, women did all the
work,
medicine man free, Indian man spent all day hunting and fishing, all night having sex."
Then the chief leaned back and smiled,
"White man dumb enough to think he could
improve system like that!" |
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An English professor wrote the words
on the board, "a woman without her man is nothing",
and he directed the students to punctuate it correctly.
The men in the class wrote: "A woman, without her man, is
nothing".
The women wrote: "A woman: with her, man is nothing".
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Men are
Like...
.... mascara
they usually run at the first sign of emotion
... bike helmets
they´re good in emergencies but usually just look silly
... lava lamps
fun to look at, but not all that bright
... bank accounts
without a lot of money they don´t generate a lot of interest
... curling irons
they´re always hot and always in your hair
... mini skirts
if you´re not careful they´ll creep up your legs
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